What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
