Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize