Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
