Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
