it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
