Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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