Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
