i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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