roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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