haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
