There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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