we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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