she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
