I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
