My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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