actually, I'm a sock model
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
