Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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