I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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