Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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