Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
