She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
