Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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