So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
