He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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