so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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