For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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