i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize