it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
another moral hangover. fuck.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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