Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
