How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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