Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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