If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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