i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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