So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
