plz talk dirty to me
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize