Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
