just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
