well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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