$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
