I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
