bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
