Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
