I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
