You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
