Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize