Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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