There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
