Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think my fart just growled at me.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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