Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
