is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I lost the right to judge tonight
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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