none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
