I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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