Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
