you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
