at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize