he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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