I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
