You smell like a Billy Joel song
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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