How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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