They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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