Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
