I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
